I've fallen for this before. Being put in a place of make believe battle. For the purpose of enabling the villain and his blame game. But it was necessary then. I played a role. Too weak to bow out. Although my role was not really necessary then, it is most definitely not necessary this time around. That I am certain of.
I feel blessed to have had the revelation necessary to free me of the bondage and evil that so desires to ensnare me. Allow me to express myself.
I am oftentimes somewhat cryptic in my writing. At times, maybe not so much. I am at a little bit of a crossroads with this piece because I try so hard to not be so pointed. If you are a reader of my stuff, and you know me, you may know what I'm talking about. If you just stumble upon my writing, you'd have to guess.
Let's proceed in the fashion of a minuscule Novelette. Or more of a Narrative. The characters: Leading Man ~ Cale. Leading Lady ~ Priscilla. Lady in the shadows ~ Gertrude. Second Lady in the shadows ~ Nanette.
Eluded happiness. The desire for contentedness. Self destruction. Self loathing. And the gift. These are the main ideas of this tale.
Preface: It would appear that the saboteur is back at it, in full force. Fists flying, k-9's exposed, foaming. Blazing and lashing out. At the fog. The smoke. Of his own making. The battle he is engaged in (in the physical realm is non-existent). It's all smoke and mirrors. Designed for the sole purpose of feigned turmoil. This happiness that constantly eludes my static character is self derived. With his constant need to boast and proclaim 'happiness' in its infancy, just to intentionally squelch it. The only way to possibly grasp this may be to presume it is on a subconscious level.
Because, who in their right mind would be crazy enough to repeatedly grasp this gift, just to squander it?
Let me be less cryptic. Cale is trying desperately to engage Priscilla in a Cyber War. She almost takes the bate. Well, actually, she does. Just a nibble though. She wouldn't have if the purported depictions were not lies and propaganda. She felt the need to be the truth teller.
Then, she decided to back off. And let God do what He does best. By this, Priscilla doesn't believe this to mean punish...but to sincerely, Let God DO what HE does best. Whatever that may be.
Priscilla is not a psychology scholar, but she does get the human condition. She gets it. For some reason, beyond what she can dig into, Cale is continually searching for what he calls Happiness. He has destroyed every semblance of family, normalcy, commitment, devotion, respect, gratitude, humbleness known to man. Yet, feels he deserves this gift. And he does. He really does. He has attained it repeatedly, this spoken out of his own mouth. This proclamation, shoved down every one's throat until they are forced to believe it.
Priscilla truly feels Cale deserves it. She truly believes he should have it. This happiness. And have a lot of it. The problem lies in the fact that for some reason he does not believe in his own deservedness. How does she know this. Because. Because of this war that Cale is trying to engage her in. He did it when Gertrude was in the picture. By constantly putting them up against each other. For his own entertainment. And he is doing it now with Nanette.
He creates these imaginary battles, enticing a reaction, which Priscilla may or may not concede to. Deliberately creating a dungeon of darkness and bitterness. Sitting back, so as to allow Nanette to fight his "imaginary, delusional battles" for him. So that in the end, this chaos envelopes him and he can cry "Where is my happiness?" "Why must it always be this way?" Now, this may be out boredom. Because the excitement may have dissipated. Or because he just cannot put forth the exhausting effort, beyond the initial newness. Because relationships take a lot of work. An awful lot of work.
Thus, Priscilla believes this is where the voice of self-sabotage enters the story. Cale is discontent. Once again. He draws his sword. Shows his teeth. Clenches his fists. And starts flailing. Blindly. Aimlessly. Slaying.
And then.
"I have a gift. For you. A blessing. I am happy for your happiness. I do not want to steal it from you. It's yours for the taking. Please do not squander it. Take it for the gift that it is. Happiness can be so very fleeting. But it doesn't have to be. I am not the enemy. I have no war to battle with you," says Priscilla to Cale. "Take Nanette and ride off into the sunset. Stop waisting your genius on an imaginary war. This is your story with a happy ending. There is no room for lies, no place for misguided turbulence. Let the roaring lion sleep. Lest you lie in despair."
Now this tale could go on. Indefinitely. Delivering one to the brink of insanity. But with the leading lady graciously taking her cue. Exiting stage left. The final curtain draws closed. And the crowd erupts. The final page is turned. This leaving our Leading Man to do his part. And embrace his victory. There is no sequel. Just a story with a happy ending.
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