Held ~ By A Love Like No Other

I often, cannot seem to find the words, when in conversation with a non-believer, to express the true majesty of  God. The creator of everything. I feel like a bumbling idiot more than half the time and more recently have found myself, surprisingly, quieted.

That should be proof enough right there that there is a God...me quiet. That's funny! Anyway, I just wanted to talk about what I know to be true and the One great thing that truly inspires my heart. It's the love of God. Plain and simple.

My daughters wrote a song...and it goes a little like this...."It's a love like no other...it's a love I can't describe"  {It is just beautiful. BEAUTIFUL. I hope you get to hear it someday.}

And that is true to some extent. The, 'I can't describe part.'  But really, I can. I know I can.

My aunt gave me a New Testament Bible when I was just five years old. I have moved more than 30 times in my life and this little Bible...is on my desk as I write this. I have prayed to God as a little girl, asking all kinds of questions and seeking every kind of guidance. Jesus appeared to me one night in a beautiful image on my ceiling. I was in the first grade. I don't know why, I just know that I wasn't praying at the moment and I wasn't thinking of Him. Yet, there He was. I know I was lonely and thinking about a father I didn't know, but wanted very much to come see me. I tucked that living image in my heart and as the years passed, I felt a certain covering. A divine protection. A love like no other. There have been plenty of times where I'm certain I should not be here on this earth, be it a place that was dangerous or a circumstance that just wasn't right...I escaped unscathed each time. I married outside of my faith, because I was young and we agreed that 'religion is teaching your children to be good people.' That's what we decided. Obviously, that all changed for me when the kids did actually come along. Probably because I had ceaselessly prayed for them and He answered my prayers. There were five miscarried precious babes and four perfectly healthy ones. My prayers reached God's ears. He literally honored me and blessed me with these children. I didn't deserve them. Yet, He loved me so.  I am so small, and the universe is so big, but he heard my hearts plea.

I know there is a God because when we were abandoned as a whole,  I wanted to die. He held me. And when my kids tears and their shaking little bodies crumbled in my arms each night, He held us. There is not another person on this earth that could comfort our aching souls. It was only when we called on Him and spoke His name, either silently, whispered or screamed, that we experienced immeasurable comfort. An immediate ceasing of pain.

My son took it really hard. I found him in the closet one day...crying. He would not be coaxed out. His world would never be the same and he was scared. I lay on the floor on the other side of the door and shared with him something I had only recently learned myself. That The Lord, holds each of our tears in His palm. And that His heart breaks for each tear we shed. That He holds our very heart in His hands and He puts every broken piece back together until its whole again. And that He would do that for my son, if he would let Him. 

I'll never forget that day. My son stopped crying, just like that. Crawled out and sat on my lap. We hugged and kissed. Dried our eyes...took a deep breath and went on with living. We ended up in the kitchen cooking soup together. Our hearts warmed and less heavy. Because we whispered the Lord's name. Again, we are so small and the universe is so big, but he heard our hearts plea.

This is how I know.., Because. I. Myself. Did not have the words. Or the wisdom. Or the knowledge. Or any tricks, to get my kid out of that deep, dark hole. I didn't have magic and I didn't have promises. But what I did have was the Truth.

On this earth we have certain expectations. We expect our wrongs to be overlooked. We assume that our mess-ups are no one else's business. And we certainly are not accountable to anyone. Let alone to a God we can't see. Somewhere, up there in the sky. We call authority figures stupid because they can't right our wrongs. And scoff at the injustice when we don't get the results we want, from mistakes we made by following the rules we made up ourselves.

But, put people in a tough, seemingly hopeless situation and they call on the Living God. The One who calls Himself the Great "I Am".  We can do whatever we want. And satisfy every loathsome urge in the absence of Truth. Simply, because we can.

But, there is a God. There is a rightness and an order to things. His love is enormous. His ways are just. His mercies are everlasting. His arms are always open. His longing for you is real. Deny Him all you want. But your heart knows. In the quiet of your spirit. And the stillness of your being. Your heart knows.