When my husband proposed at the age of nineteen, I told him that I would need to be a stay at home mom for our children. He whole heartedly agreed, and I said yes to the proposal!
Well, as it turns out I have been blessed beyond measure. My cup, surely it runneth over!
I was twenty four years old when our first was born and and thirty one when our fourth arrived.
Life was incredibly fun and tremendously exciting. Super busy and exceedingly joyful. Never had I imagined all of the living and loving we would do. I doted on the kids from dawn till dusk, every whim was met, every whimper comforted, every desire fulfilled.
Our days were filled with love, laughter, hugs and kisses! The children were the picture of health and vitality. Sweet and kind, friendly and loving, they brought sunshine everywhere we went. We were living the American Dream.
A home filled with healthy and happy children, a flourishing business and hearts close to busting!
I was the over-protective kind of mom...the kind that everyone else thinks is weird. I didn't know how to be any other way. In my spirit, I suppose that I may have believed this life was just a glimpse and it could be taken away. Maybe I feared a disaster of sorts, and it was, in my opinion at the time...my duty to protect these kids.
Of course, I made it all sound perfectly normal...'I just love them so very much, ' I would declare! 'No harm nor folly will befall my kids,' I would clamour.
I thought I was doing everything right. I was the one who would decide their fate and guide them along this path called life.
I certainly did not trust the Lord with them. Until the day came when I had to.
The oldest was just turning ten and the youngest was three and a half when my husband left.
I did not have a choice, but to hand my kids over to God. Everything that I had tried to do, was now out of my hands. I so desperately wanted these kids to never ,ever experience any sort of pain. I thought I was protecting them from this world and from the people that could hurt them.
Never did I imagine that it would be their father that would be the cause of so much pain. I do not say this to lay blame. Simply that when a parent chooses to exit the family, it delivers a devastating punch. Results in a blow to the heart. Evokes a mother's animal cry.
So, here I stood...on the brink of a fear I have never wanted to know. So gripping and so paralyzing. I had absolutely no control over our lives. Over my kids happiness.
It had been brought to my attention in a big bad way, that I had only thanked God for the gift that these children had been. However, I had boldly denied the Lord's hand in raising them up and providing for them.
Oh how wrong I was. He was the only one who could protect them. At that very moment, I let go of every irrational fear I had burdened my family with. Gone was the fear of germs, and planes, junk food, skateboards, highways and spiders. Just like that, gone!
He had everything under control. Our lives, our hopes, our future, our dreams. What a tremendous relief, to not have this heavy load to carry anymore. The worst had happened. Nothing I did could have changed it or stopped it. And yet, here we were.
I was no different from any other human being on this earth. Turning to the heavens in my time of need.
For a moment, we were alone and abandoned. But only for one moment.
~ The Lord has brought us through. Never have I felt so sure of anything. ~
Today, we have come to the place of forgiving. Of letting go and letting God. We know Where to turn and Who to thank. We are not perfect and we still hurt. But we are healed and we love.
He tends His flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in His arms
and carries them close to His heart:
He gently leads those that have young.
~ Isaiah 40:11 ~
Hint: Pause Playlist below, to enjoy video:
Hint: Pause Playlist below, to enjoy video:
Comments